One big problem that can get in the way of pursuing our goals, is when we don’t feel motivated enough to take action.
This can be so frustrating especially when we see other people putting in the work and crushing their goals and we can’t seem to drag ourselves off the couch.
Many times we beat ourselves up for “not being motivated” instead of investigating the reasons behind this lack of motivation.
Sometimes there are valid reasons we are not motivated to pursue our goals and if we can get curious and uncover those reasons, we will be able to overcome these problems and start taking action towards our goals and dreams.
Here are 3 common reasons you might not be motivated to work on your goals and what you can do about it.
#1 You Lack Clarity
Sometimes what we perceive as a “lack of motivation” is really just a lack of clarity.
It is possible that you are being too ambiguous with yourself about what it is you are trying to accomplish. When you say “I’m not motivated”, maybe the real problem is you have no idea what to do next. Maybe you haven’t taken the time to define your next steps or get clear on your strategy for achieving your goal.
It is so much harder to get motivated to do something ambiguous and much easier to get motivated to do something specific.
So make sure you take the time to get specific with yourself. If you are having trouble motivating yourself to take action, start by asking yourself this question: “What EXACTLY am I trying to motivate myself to do?” Make sure whatever you write down has a clear, tangible action step next to it.
For example, if you write down “start a blog” that is way too ambiguous. Start is not a real, tangible action step you can take. It is not specific enough.
You have to make the verb of your to-do list, something that physically describes the action you will be taking. Instead of “start a blog”, you must write down some smaller steps that are correlated to physical actions like “Open up a google doc and brainstorm a blog name” and “Go to namecheap.com and purchase domain name” “Research and choose hosting software”.
Do you see how all of these mini steps correlate to physical action steps? How much easier does it feel to get started when you eliminate all the ambiguity and clearly define your next action steps. In order to harness the power of motivation, it’s important to get incredibly specific about WHAT you are trying to motivate yourself to do.
Question to ask yourself:
What EXACTLY am I trying to motivate myself to do?
#2 It’s a SHOULD goal vs a TRUE goal
Another reason you might not be motivated to work on your goal is… it’s not a goal you truly believe in. It is not actually something you truly want to do deep in your core. It is just something you have convinced yourself you need to do for one reason or another.
In other words: it is a SHOULD goal instead of a TRUE goal.
A should goal is something that was imposed on you by others, either through unconscious messaging from society or expectations from you friends or family. A should goal is just that…. something you think you SHOULD do for one reason or another, but your heart isn’t really in it.
Whereas a true goal is the thing the you would really love to do, but were shamed or reasoned out of it. Maybe you’ve adopted the belief that your TRUE goal is too grandiose or unrealistic. Maybe you have convinced yourself your TRUE goal is too selfish or financially irresponsible.
Whatever your line of reasoning is, you have somehow replaced the things you truly want with someone else’s rational plan for your life. You’ve surrendered what you really really want, for something “more practical” for something “safer”.
Let me give you an example to illustrate this in action. One of my clients was convinced during our first session that her goal was securing a full time job in the art industry.
She knew that, down the road, what she ultimately wanted was to be her own boss as a freelance artist, but she didn’t think that was a realistic goal for her at the moment.
Despite the fact that she had created a substantial cushion of savings that would cover her minimal living expenses for a while, she still felt like what she SHOULD do was find a full time job. Then eventually she would start up her side hustle as an artist.
Because she was set on securing a full time job before pursuing her artistic side hustle, we set up her action steps to apply for a given quota of jobs per week. However, she struggled to meet this quota and week after week just could not motivate herself to take action and apply for these jobs.
During our next session we dug into WHY she was struggling to take action, and we uncovered that securing a full time job was NOT a true goal, but a should goal, imposed on her by family expectations.
Her TRUE goal was to dedicate herself fully to pursuing her dream of becoming a freelance artist. She actually did not want to get a full time job, but felt that she SHOULD get a full time job in order to be thought of as a responsible adult by her family.
Once she came to this realization of what she REALLY wanted, she decided to ditch the SHOULD goal of the full time job and go all in on her pursuing her dream of becoming a freelance artist.
Question to ask yourself…
If you are struggling to motivate yourself to do something, it is very important to ask yourself one basic question… is this a TRUE goal or a SHOULD goal.
Is this something I really want, or something that society, my parents, my friend group, tells me I need to do, be or have, in order to be successful or happy?
#3 It is not the right time
Another reason you might not be motivated to work on your goal is that now is not the right time. Sometimes we try to force our way to achieving a goal and in the process, overlook the more obvious and immediate needs in our current life situation.
I believe that there are seasons for everything and it’s important to honor these cycles instead of forcing our way through life. There are seasons for hustle and seasons for rest and both are necessary for our proper flourishing.
This isn’t about letting yourself off the hook, but allowing yourself to experience the seasons.
Here is an example of how this played out in my own life.
There was a time during the end of my contract teaching English in S Korea where I realized it was time to put my life coaching business on hold and do some deep inner work.
I already had several clients I was working with, and could not for the life of me, motivate myself to reach out to new clients. I took an entire business course on how to attract new clients, I knew all of the steps I should be taking, but could not get myself to consistently take action. On those rare occasions when I did take the action to reach out to new potential clients, it never felt sincere or authentic.
Finally, instead of trying to force myself or guilt myself into taking action and “showing up for my business”, I decided to investigate and find out why taking these actions and finding the motivation was such a struggle fest.
One of the things I uncovered was, I was exhausted. With the time zone difference and the full time job I currently had, I was burning the candle on both ends. I realized that acquiring new clients while I still had a full time teaching job would equate to me being even more sleep deprived.
Plus I was going through a personal struggle examining my relationship with alcohol. It became clear to me that what I really needed to pursue in that moment was my own self care, integrity and walking my talk. I did a one month coaching program to change my relationship with alcohol and dove deep into developing some better habits. I also got my own personal 1:1 life coach to work on applying all the principles I was learning through my coach training program into my own life. Doing all of this inner work was necessary so I could show up more fully for my future clients.
So if you are struggling to motivate yourself to work towards your goals another important question to ask “Is now the right time?” Is there something else that needs my focus and attention in THIS moment before I go full force into pursuing this goal?
This is not about making sure you are “perfect” or feel 100% ready before you start working towards a goal. Because then you will never get started. This is just about ditching the hustle and forceful mentality and making sure you are not overlooking anything more immediately in need of your focus, attention, and care. Are you trying to force your way into your goals without laying the proper foundation for yourself first?
Question to ask yourself:
Is there something else that needs my focus and attention in THIS moment before I go full force into pursuing this goal?
If anything, I hope this blog post will help you start to shift the way you look at motivation. Instead of getting frustrated and beating yourself up for “not being motivated”, I hope this will allow you to get curious and start to wonder WHY you are not motivated and begin to troubleshoot from there.
Motivation is a much more complex topic than I could ever hope to cover in one blog post, but I hope that you will find this as a starting point. Next time you don’t feel motivated to work on your goals, you can ask yourself these three questions and see if they can help you get unstuck.
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