In Brene Brown’s book “The Gifts of Imperfection”, she goes through 10 guideposts of wholehearted living, which essentially are the key pieces and practices that make life beautiful. Guidepost #8 is meaningful work, which she describes as work that brings us a sense of accomplishment, satisfaction and purpose.
One key aspect that gives our work meaning is when we feel like we are using our skills and abilities to really make a difference. Brene talks about this as using our “gifts and talents”. In order to do work that feels meaningful and important, we must first figure out what our gifts and talents are and then decide how we want to share them with the world.
I think sometimes this wording can trip us up. When we hear phrases like gifts and talents, we feel these unrealistic expectations begin to creep in about what exactly qualifies as a gift.
We think in order to truly be a gift we have to be the only person on the planet who is blessed with that particular skill set. Or we think that if we are not prodigy level, world class status at something then it doesn’t count as a gift or a talent.
In order to bypass all this crazy pressure, I like to think about “gifts and talents” as strengths instead. I think strengths is a more accessible way of looking at the concept.
You don’t have to be the only person in the world to possess a certain skill or ability. It really doesn’t matter if other people share these strengths. The fact that you are a different person automatically means you bring a different energy to your particular skill set.
So even if other people possess similar strengths to you, remember that the fact that you have these strengths already means it is unique because no one else is you.
What are strengths?
Simply put, strengths are things you are good at. They are things we do in everyday life that we don’t suck at. Your strengths can be things that you help other people with.
Maybe you always navigate on group trips because you are good at directions. That’s a strength.
Maybe you are the go to person to organize events or plan parties because you are good at details, logistics and bringing people together. That’s a strength.
Maybe you are always the one that people call when they can’t get their computer to work because you’ve got some techie skills to help them trouble shoot and fix it. Again, a strength.
Nothing fancy. No specific requirements on skill proficiency or uniqueness. Just something you are generally good at.
Why is it important to find our strengths?
Finding and sharing our strengths with the world is not just something that adds extra meaning to our work and our lives. There are real and harmful consequences of NOT doing it, of not using our gifts to help others.
In The Gifts of Imperfection, Brene Brown discusses the problem with ignoring our strengths. She says “squandering our gifts brings distress to our lives. As it turns out, it’s not merely benign or “too bad” if we don’t use the gifts we’ve been given; we pay for it with our emotional and physical well-being. When we don’t use our talents to cultivate meaningful work, we struggle. We feel disconnected and weighed down by feelings of emptiness, frustration, resentment, shame, disappointment, fear and even grief.”
Those are some serious negative consequences.
So if you are feeling like you are missing a purpose and that you are not as fulfilled as you could be, that is probably a sign you need to figure out what your gifts and talents are so you can start sharing them with the world!
3 Ways to Uncover Your Strengths
Here are three ways that you can begin to uncover your strengths.
#1 Take a quiz
Who doesn’t love quizzes right? This quiz is called High 5, it is essentially a free version based on the Clifton Strengths Finder. It is a great place to start to give you a sense of what your strengths are.
#2 Ask your loved ones
Sometimes we are too close to our strengths to really see their value. Some of our gifts and talents come so naturally to us that we don’t even think about them as being anything special. That is when it is helpful to solicit some performance reviews from people you love.
Usually other people in our lives can see our strengths (and weaknesses) more clearly than we can and it can be so enlightening to ask them for feedback. Here are a few questions to send your friends, family members and coworkers to get their input as you search for what your strengths are.
I recommend sending it to at least 3-5 people who know you in slightly different contexts.
- What are my strengths?
- What are my weaknesses?
- What does everyone know about me?
- What can I be counted on for?
- What can I NEVER be counted on for?
- Is there anything else you would like to tell me or anything that you have never told me that you would like me to know?
#3 Do some introspection
In the book “The Big Leap”, Gay Hendricks talks about uncovering your Zone of Genius. He defines your zone of genius as “the things you are uniquely suited to do which serve your highest purposes for your life.” Your Zone of Genius is basically your ultimate strengths.
It involves the things you are best at that also bring you joy, fulfillment and meaning. Here are some of my favorite questions from the book to help you uncover your zone of genius.
- What work doesn’t feel like work? You could do it for hours and not get bored or tired.
- What is your unique ability? To find this fill in the blanks. I”m at my best when I’m _______. When I’m at my best, the exact thing I’m doing is _________. When I’m doing that, the thing I love most about it is _______.
- In my work, what produces the highest ratio of abundance and satisfaction to amount of time spent? (Even if I only spend a few minutes on this, an idea or deeper connection may spring forth that leads to huge value.)
Sometimes thinking about finding our purpose or using our gifts and talents can be so daunting it paralyzes us. Hopefully this gives you a more accessible way to think about those big topics. Start with your strengths and work from there to see how can you start to use those strengths to serve the world.
