When I was in residency, I hit rock bottom. A state of total burnout. Of mental and physical exhaustion.
I am only now just starting to realize the immense blessing in that pain.
I feel so appreciative and lucky that I hit this low point and was so miserable. Because it meant that I didn’t have the lure of a comfort zone to hold me back.
They say that the enemy of a great life is a good one. But I didn’t have that problem.
When I was in residency, I had a pretty shit life. To the point where I felt like I was in my worst case scenario.
Change wasn’t optional for me, but necessary. Essential for my survival. I wasn’t scared of the unknown because, in my mind, nothing could be worse than where I currently was. This kind of misery can make a person fearless in all the best ways. And for that I am so grateful.
But I know this isn’t the case for everyone.
Some of you likely have a pretty decent set up in your current job and life. Maybe you make a respectable salary, enough to pay the bills and then some. Maybe your hours aren’t horrible and while your job can be draining and exhausting, at least you have the weekends off to rest, recharge. Maybe your work is boring and uninspiring, but not exactly miserable or soul-sucking.
In other words, you are perfectly set up in your comfort zone. Even though you may feel a pull towards something more and may have a desire to make a change, you can also quite easily rationalize your current status quo.
You can tell yourself that “I’m nice and safe where I’m at, maybe I’ll just stay put”.
If you start dreaming of quitting your job and pursuing your true passion, you are able to quickly pull yourself back down to earth with a “don’t be an idiot, don’t leave this behind.”
If you start fantasizing about that solo adventure you want to take, you can quickly snap out of it by saying “No, we’re comfortable here, don’t go do that.”
But, if you want to live a more inspired, authentic life, you must learn how to break through your comfort zone.
What is your comfort zone?
And the first step in doing so, is lifting back the veil of what your comfort zone actually is.
Most of us talk about our comfort zone with misty eyes, like it’s this picture perfect safe haven where nothing bad can ever happen to us.
But is that really your experience? Because if that were the case, if your comfort zone was actually so glamorous and cozy than what is the problem? Why would you ever need to leave it?
Let’s stop bullshitting ourselves about this whole comfort zone thing. Because I am willing to bet that your comfort zone isn’t actually all that comfortable.
Our comfort zones are generally just zones of predictability. We feel safe and secure because we know exactly what to expect on a day to day basis. We know what our hours are, what our salary will be each month. We even know what our frustrations and problems will be, and there is a sort of comfort and security in the familiar.
But in what ways is your comfort zone actually not so comfortable?
Are you uncomfortable in your energy levels because you are always feeling so drained and exhausted?
Are you uncomfortable with the monotony of each day being a carbon copy of the day before?
Are you uncomfortable because you aren’t actually pursuing your passion? What about the discomfort of knowing you were made for so much more and you aren’t tapping into your greatest potential? That’s a hard one to sit with.
Once you lift back the veil and get real about what your comfort zone actually is, it starts to make the whole concept less appealing.
What are the consequences of staying put in your comfort zone?
But we won’t stop there.
Since, as human beings, we are driven to avoid pain and seek pleasure, let’s double down and see how we can associate massive pain with staying in your comfort zone.
Let’s time travel into the future, into an alternate reality where you never break free of your comfort zone.
A whole year passes, and you still haven’t worked up the courage to quit your job and start seeking new, more aligned opportunities.
Three more years pass and you still haven’t booked that solo adventure you’ve been meaning to take. You’ve been lurking in Solo Female Travel groups on FB for ages, looking at other people’s pictures filled with envy, but you just haven’t worked up the nerve to buy that ticket.
Five years go by and you still haven’t launched your podcast, published your blog or taken real meaningful steps towards your passion project. You keep pushing it off saying that now is “not the time”.
How does this imagined future feel for you?
What are the consequences of ignoring your intuition and staying put inside your comfort zone?
If you never take the leap and start listening to your intuition, what is that ultimately going to cost you?
As your regret and resentment build up, how is that going to impact your health and happiness? How is that going to affect the way you show up in your relationships, if you continue to carry the torch of what could have been for your life?
The need for growth, is one of the needs of the spirit, and as Tony Robbins said, if you aren’t growing you are dying.
If a piece of your soul is dying… how is that going to negatively impact the way you show up in your life?
Is that really the way you want to live out your life?
Pretty scary isn’t it?
Hopefully by doing this little time travel exercise you can see that hanging out in your comfort zone is not a benign decision. Living your life in safety and security without tapping into your full potential, has major consequences for the quality of your life.
Intentionally creating certainty in your life
Next, I want to challenge you to get creative. Because leaving your comfort zone and jumping into growth and the unknown is always going to be scary, but maybe there are some ways we can make it less scary.
One of the 6 human needs is the need for certainty. This need for certainty is a need of the ego and is one of the things that keeps us trapped and stuck in our comfort zone.
As humans, we crave a sense of safety, security, and stability. It’s completely normal to desire those things and I believe this need represents old remnants of survival instincts baked into our very DNA.
Staying in our comfort zone is a way to meet that human need for certainty. But what if we could meet that need in other ways? I believe that we can, and all it takes is some creative problem solving.
Ask yourself, what gives you a sense of safety and certainty? How can you meet your need for safety and certainty in a way that doesn’t sabotage your dreams?
For me, implementing a very predictable, stable morning routine gives me a huge sense of certainty. I know exactly how I am going to start each day. Any sort of routine can provide this same sense of certainty, a sense of control over some tiny details of your life. Eating the same thing for breakfast everyday, going to the same yoga class, having a standing Friday night dinner date or a Tuesday night phone call with your besties.
What routines can you create in your everyday life to help establish this sense of security?
Other things that make me feel safe and secure are drinking chamomile tea and watching reruns of my favorite TV shows like The Office and Gilmore Girls. Rereading book series from my childhood like Harry Potter and A Series of Unfortunate Events. Talking to my parents.
Financial security is another big one. Few things make us feel more anxious than worrying about money. There is always this misconception, that we somehow have to choose love over money. That following our dreams and doing what we love, means being financially doomed. But this is nonsense. Just because we start living a more authentic, purposeful live, doesn’t mean we have to be dumb about money. Start building up a savings account and emergency fund. Build out a sense of certainty and stability financially, so you can start taking risks in other areas of your life.
Yes, breaking out of our comfort zone is scary, but I also believe it is entirely necessary if we want to live more inspired, authentic lives.
As Brooke Castillo from The Life Coach School says, “Discomfort is the currency of your dreams. The more uncomfortable you are willing to be, the closer your life will align to what you want it to be.”
It is only when we start embracing the discomfort can we truly create a life in line with our purpose.
