Let’s be real, at this point we’ve all been infected with coronavirus. On a mental, emotional level it is essentially consuming us. Our minds have been tainted and contaminated with worries, and fear about this havoc-wreaking microorganism. Our collective subconscious is taking an energetic nose dive into some serious low vibes and I think it’s time we take a good look at our communal response to this worldwide crisis.
Because we can never control what happens to us but we can control how we respond.
For the longest time my response was avoidance and denial. I refused to learn anything about Coronavirus or acknowledge it as a threat. Whenever people talked about it I would roll my eyes and say something like “ugh it’s basically just the common cold” or “everyone is overreacting”.
But I will be the first to admit, that I was wrong. I was in denial, which is a fairly common coping mechanism in times of crisis. Maybe one you are familiar with as well?
When I finally decided to get informed about what was going on with this whole Corona situation. I went down a pretty deep rabbit hole. Legitimately, it got weird. I started learning about statistical formulas for calculating mortality rate in the middle of a pandemic. I began making my own charts and graphs detailing out the new cases per day in Vietnam so I could make mathematical predictions.
I learned the Coronavirus handwashing dance going viral on tik tok (ok so that was actually pretty fun).
I spent at least three hours the first night going hard on google. In the days that followed, my obsession continued and I would spend at least another hour or two gathering all the most recent numbers of cases and deaths and travel bans. Basically I was trying to arm up with facts to make this big scary unknown a little less daunting.
I thought it was working pretty darn well. Until it wasn’t.
A few days into my obsession, I was at dinner at a local Vietnamese restaurant having a perfectly normal conversation over a bowl of spicy Pho, and all of a sudden I thought I was having an allergic reaction.
The muscles in my cheeks, my temples and my neck tensed up and felt like they were swelling. My forearms started tingling with that pins and needles sensation. I felt a nauseating wave of heat rush over my entire body. I checked to make sure I could breathe because I was convinced that my throat must be closing up. It took me a moment to realize what was happening. I was having a physical reaction to all the anxiety I had been suppressing. Even though in my mind I didn’t think I was anxious or worried about anything, the body doesn’t lie.
I had been reading the news, feeling the terror and then just suppressing it through logic. And apparently that strategy was ineffective. What I needed to do, what I finally did, was allow myself to feeeeel the fear, process it and move on. I also needed to start limiting my news consumption and making some other changes as well.
Here are some of the things I’ve been practicing to stay sane, calm and centered during this time that hopefully will be helpful to you too.
#1 Process your fears
Don’t make the same mistake that I did by suppressing and ignoring your fears. Dive right into them. I know this doesn’t sound appealing, but it is a necessary part of getting through these crazy times.
Ask yourself “What are you really scared of?” I am willing to bet you are not actually scared of running out of toilet paper. Or that, the thought of working from your couch for two weeks isn’t actually what is terrifying you.
I think those are all superficial worries covering up your deeper fears. And I want to challenge you to dig deeper. If you did run out of toilet paper… what would that mean? What are all the doomsday stories I am telling myself right now?
Allow yourself to go there. Go to the worst case scenario. Just get them all out on paper and I promise you they are significantly less scary when they are written down. Usually they even seem a little silly.
If this seems to daunting or too scary to “go there” by yourself, then seek out support. Now is the perfect time to sign up for coaching, go to therapy, or find a supportive friend.
#2 Catch yourself before you wreck yourself
Worry pretends to be necessary. We think that we need to worry. That it is the responsible thing to do. That worry helps prepare us in some way for the worst case scenarios.
It doesn’t. Worry is a generally unhelpful state. We don’t normally take productive action from a place of worry. Usually what we do is sit around mulling over things, and just work ourselves into a tizzy. Not actually doing anything.
Worry is just choosing fear over love. And yes we do have choice. Why don’t we choose to use this corona sitch as an opportunity for growth? An opportunity to start working on putting an end to our worry habit once and for all.
Here’s how to get started.
- Pay close attention to your thoughts and your emotions. Whenever you catch yourself worrying do something to interrupt your pattern. Do some physical action like clap your hands over your mouth or raise your hands above your head and shake them. Or say something out loud like ” STOP IT” or “No one likes a worry wart”. The idea is to do something slightly absurd to interrupt your pattern.
- Next, take some deep breaths and center into your body. Feel the emotion of fear or worry in your physical body and just observe it. Are you feeling physical sensations? Can you tune in to where you are feeling that physical tension and observe as it moves through your body?
- Then forgive yourself for choosing fear and recommit to choosing love instead. Literally say that out loud. “I forgive myself for choosing fear and in this moment I will choose love instead.”
#3 Choose supportive thoughts and mantras
We get to choose how we feel, and sometimes that requires intentionally choosing better feeling thoughts. In situations like these I think mantras are an excellent tool for choosing more support thoughts.
Mantras are amazing ways to calm our nervous system and allow comforting messages to seep into our subconscious.
To be most effective, a mantra should feel good and it should also feel believable. So I wouldn’t advise your mantra to be something Pollyanna like “everything is great and perfect right now”. Because that isn’t believable.
Two mantras that have been helpful for me (and my clients) are:
In this moment, I am safe and have everything I need.
I am hopeful that everything will be ok.
Try them on and allow your mood to elevate out of anxiety and worry into a slightly better feeling.
#4 Be a responsible consumer
In times like these, we feel this moral obligation to be informed.
And I don’t fully disagree with that. Sure its good to know the basics like “is my school or gym closing down?” or “do I need to work from home today?” For us digital nomads, we like to know which borders are closing and what changes are going into place from a visa standpoint.
But do your best to get in and get out.
Being informed doesn’t mean going into a corona rabbit hole spending hours reading all the sensationalized headlines. Decide what information is important for you to know. Find one or two news sources you trust and get the facts as neutrally and objectively as possible.
Also, limit the time you spend on these sources. Realistically 30 minutes a day is all you really need to “stay informed”. And be sure to balance it out. For every minute of scary, corona news you read, consume a minute of something positive and uplifting like an inspirational podcast.
You are in charge of what you are consuming and during times like these it is so important to be a responsible consumer of media.
Here are some reliable, informative sources I have found to keep you up to date on the facts without dragging you into a rabbit hole.
- Dr. Mike’s Youtube channel
- John’s Hopkin’s interactive map with real time data on numbers of Corona cases
- Worldometer has great charts and graphs and up to date information
- World Health Organization’s COVID-19 Homepage
- CDC’s COVID-19 Homepage
My advice is to stay away from google and all of the headlines all together. Go to these reliable sources and avoid the rest. Choose what you consume, don’t let it be chosen for you.
#5 Focus on what you DO know
Yes, there is so much we don’t know. There are endless unknowns. The future, while always uncertain, is now glaringly obvious in its uncertainties.
There are so many things we don’t know: How will this affect the economy and businesses? The stock market? Will our families and loved ones be ok?Do we have the medical infrastructure to handle the volume of sick people? When will we be able to travel again? When will borders reopen? When will this all be over? When can we buy a t-shirt that says “I survived COVID-19?”
But focusing on these unknowns is just going to increase your worry about fear. For a moment, let’s not focus on what is unknown. Let’s focus on what is known. What is certain.
What do you know for sure? What makes you feel safe and certain?
For me, I know that tonight I have a bed to sleep in. I know that my visa will last me in Vietnam until April 27th. I know that I have access to food and clean water. I know that my family is only one phone call away and that I have created a loving community right here in Vietnam that I can turn to for support.
I know that in this moment, there is nothing I am lacking. I know that in this moment, I am safe. And that is more than enough for me
One of the ways we can change our emotional state in a moment is by changing what we focus on. Instead of focusing on what we are lacking or what we don’t know. Try instead to focus on what is known.
I know that these times are scary and that we are all feeling helpless in so many ways.
Maybe one of the scariest parts is that our illusion of control is shattered. It was always an illusion, but now it’s gone entirely. We like to trick ourselves into believing that the future can be predicted.
But just because the pattern of one day usually follows over into the next, doesn’t mean we actually have any real control over how our future will unfold. And now that is becoming blatantly obvious to us. And it’s scary. And it’s causing us to panic.
We have no real control over our external world. But what we do have control over is our internal world. We have control over what we choose to think, what we choose to consume and how we choose to feel. We have control over how we respond.
So let’s stop being helpless victims and let’s start to choose our responses.
Viktor Frankl, Holocaust survivor and author of Man’s Search for Meaning said, “Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and freedom.”
The coronavirus and all of its ensuing chaos is the stimulus. What will your response be? What will you choose?
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