Are you unhappy in your career and also feeling frustrated because you don’t know what to do about it?
You feel like you want to quit, but you don’t know what you would want to do instead of your current job.
You don’t know what would make you happy.
You have no idea what you want.
When it comes to your career, you feel directionless, like you are stranded in the middle of an desert with no landmarks and no idea which way to go.
You keep waiting for that clarity, that aha-moment about what to do next, but it’s not coming.
When your clarity isn’t coming
This is something I see when working with my clients all the time.
They are unhappy in their current work situation, but don’t know what they want to do next.
I was working with a client the other day and he told me how frustrated she was because she still didn’t have her “aha moment” about what her next step was.
I asked her a very powerful question:
How will you know when you’ve had your “aha moment”. What will that look like?
She described that her aha moment would feel like getting hit with this lightning bolt of clarity about what is next.
And it was during this conversation I realized what was going on.
She was waiting for someone to tap her on the shoulder and hand her a golden envelope with a brand new job description and step by step plan for how to land it.
She was so busy waiting for this big, grand aha moment to hit her over the head that she was missing the micro moments of clarity trying to lead her in the right direction.
She is not alone in this. I see so many people wanting to be given an answer.
Here: do this job.
Here: follow this exact path.
Here: check these boxes.
But forging your own path to fulfillment doesn’t work like that.
Designing a life and career that is uniquely suited to YOU requires a different, more creative approach.
The problem with waiting for an aha moment
So here is the thing about clarity- it doesn’t always happen all at once.
Sometimes we do have epiphanies, those very distinct moments of sudden clarity.
One minute you are walking down the street thinking about your to-do list, the next minute you realize, out of nowhere, “oh my gosh, I have to break up with him”.
Sometimes you really do have those moments where you feel like the lights have finally been turned on and you see something SO clearly that you were unable to see before.
But, clarity doesn’t ALWAYS happen like this and more importantly, clarity doesn’t HAVE TO happen like this.
Sometimes clarity can happen more gradually.
It can be like a picture that looks really blurry at first, but slowly starts to come into focus one pixel at a time.
It can be like a trail of breadcrumbs. Each little crumb may seem small and insignificant on it’s own, but as you follow the breadcrumbs they gently guide you to your destination.
If we expect clarity to hit us like a lightning bolt, we may not recognize the little breadcrumbs falling down around us trying to lead us to our next steps.
Don’t Be the Drowning Man
For some reason, this topic reminds me of an old joke I heard back in my Catholic school days.
It goes like this.
A fellow was stuck on his rooftop in a flood. He was praying to God for help. Soon a man in a rowboat came by and the fellow shouted to the man on the roof, “Jump in, I can save you.”
The stranded fellow shouted back, “No, it’s OK, I’m praying to God and he is going to save me.” So the rowboat went on.
Then a motorboat came by. “The fellow in the motorboat shouted, “Jump in, I can save you.” To this the stranded man said, “No thanks, I’m praying to God and he is going to save me. I have faith.” So the motorboat went on.
Then a helicopter came by and the pilot shouted down, “Grab this rope and I will lift you to safety.” To this the stranded man again replied, “No thanks, I’m praying to God and he is going to save me. I have faith.” So the helicopter reluctantly flew away.
Soon the water rose above the rooftop and the man drowned. He went to Heaven. He finally got his chance to discuss this whole situation with God, at which point he exclaimed, “I had faith in you but you didn’t save me, you let me drown. I don’t understand why!”
To this God replied, “I sent you a rowboat and a motorboat and a helicopter, what more did you expect?”
This man was so busy waiting for God to rescue him that he completely missed God trying to rescue him.
He must have had some preconceived notion in his mind of how God would save him. He must have had some idea that when God saves him it is going to look like x,y,z. He was so focused on the idea that God saving him could only happen in ONE particular way, that he missed all the multiple rescue attempts that God sent to him.
This is what happens when we fixate on clarity coming in and happening in one particular way. We miss all of the ways that clarity is trying to come to us. We miss all the little breadcrumbs trying to guide us towards our next step.
Looking out for breadcrumbs
So how do we start to look out for the breadcrumbs? How do we start to recognize the moments of micro clarity that are pointing us in the right direction? How do we start to open our minds so that we don’t miss the clues all around us?
Here are three ways you can start to look out for breadcrumbs right now.
Pay attention to your emotions.
Your emotions are powerful messengers about what you want and what is true for you. Whenever you feel excited by something… move towards that thing. See how you can spend MORE time doing what makes you feel excited.
Whenever something drains you.. move away from it. See how you can do less of the thing that drains you. Jealousy is another powerful indicator of what you want.
Ask yourself who or what are you jealous of? What information does that give you about what you might want?
Focus in on what you DO know
Going through a career transition can be so disorienting. There are so many unknowns that it can feel like your life is filled with “I don’t know’s”.
But underneath all the things you don’t know, there are usually a few truths that you can cling to. When you catch yourself worrying about everything you don’t know, pause for a moment. Acknowledge that “yes, there are alot of things you don’t know, but what DO you know?”
It’s like the question Oprah used to ask people at the end of every interview. “What do you know for sure?”
What do you know to be true about your life? About yourself? About the world you live in? You may be surprised at how deep and profound your answers can be.
When I ask myself this question: “what do I know for sure” here are some things that come up for me:
- It’s always better to love and to open your heart.
- Nature is freaking incredible. I mean… butterflies? Hummingbirds?
- Taking a deep breath is helpful.
- I care deeply about the well being of others.
- Life is better when I’m laughing and having fun.
What about you? What do YOU know for sure?
Do the next right thing
You may never get hit with a lightning bolt of clarity, but if you take action on those micro “aha- moments” they may lead you along your path to fulfillment in ways you couldn’t have expected.
You don’t need a five year plan in place to start taking action. Based on what you know to be true and when you check in with your emotions- what is one thing you are being pulled to do next?
Most people I’ve worked with have some idea that is nagging at them.
Have you always wanted to start a blog or a youtube channel? Do you keep telling your friends about how you want to build a campervan? Do you feel alive when you are speaking in public- why not try joining your local chapter of toastmasters to fine tune your skill even more?
What is that thing that keeps coming up for you and how can you start taking action in that direction?
The moment you start taking action new ideas and opportunities come forth that will lead you to your next step after that.
So if you are going through a career transition and feeling frustrated because your clarity isn’t coming, maybe it’s time to start thinking about this whole thing a little bit differently.
Instead of waiting around for some dramatic aha moment, why not pay attention to the moments of clarity that are already happening all around you. Tune into what IS already clear for you, start taking your next right step and let the clarity continue to unfold bit by bit.
