Do you ever feel like you find the perfect teacher at the perfect time?
Multiple people recommend the exact same book to you and once you finally read it, the author helps you to experience this beautiful perspective shift to help you see your current situation differently.
Someone shares a post to their Instagram story that contains the EXACT message you needed to hear to help you overcome something you are struggling with?
Your yoga teacher makes some profound observations that somehow seem to exactly apply to what you are going through in your personal life.
I’ve put out an intention to the universe recently that I find the perfect teachers and resources at the perfect time. And ever since I set that in motion, I’ve opened myself up to the exact books, courses, teachers, mentors and coaching programs that will help me grow myself and grow my business.
Recently, that teacher for me has been Amanda Frances. I don’t know if any of you are familiar with her, but she teachers on financial empowerment for women. Her message has come into my life at the perfect time and is helping me expand my mind and consciousness to what is possible in my life in business.
One of the things that has particularly resonated with me is the way she talks about means to an end. Clearly, boldly, without any reservations she repeatedly declares “I don’t do means to an end”. She just is not available for “means to an end”.
What is means to an end?
Let me explain a little bit about this concept to give you a better understanding.
A means to an end is anytime you are doing something you DON’T want to do, solely because you think it is the ONLY WAY to get you to where you want to go.
It’s when you think a certain period of suffering and “paying your dues” is what is required of you to finally be doing what you want to do.
Within the means to an end mentality is this idea that things FIRST have to be BAD so that THEN they can be GOOD. They can’t just be good all the time. They can’t just be good right away.
There has to first be a period of time spent doing something you don’t want to do so that you can earn the life you actually want.
The Fisherman and the Businessman
Listening to Amanda talk about means to an end immediately reminded me of this story of the businessman and the fisherman. This is a classic Brazilian story and I honestly can’t remember where I first read it, but I’ve found a version of it on Paulo Coehlo’s blog, that I’ve copy and pasted for you to read.
“There was once a businessman who was sitting by the beach in a small Brazilian village. As he sat, he saw a Brazilian fisherman rowing a small boat towards the shore having caught quite few big fish. The businessman was impressed and asked the fisherman, “How long does it take you to catch so many fish?” The fisherman replied, “Oh, just a short while.”
“Then why don’t you stay longer at sea and catch even more?” The businessman was astonished.
“This is enough to feed my whole family,” the fisherman said.
The businessman then asked, “So, what do you do for the rest of the day?”
The fisherman replied, “Well, I usually wake up early in the morning, go out to sea and catch a few fish, then go back and play with my kids. In the afternoon, I take a nap with my wife, and evening comes, I join my buddies in the village for a drink — we play guitar, sing and dance throughout the night.”
The businessman offered a suggestion to the fisherman.“I am a PhD in business management. I could help you to become a more successful person. From now on, you should spend more time at sea and try to catch as many fish as possible. When you have saved enough money, you could buy a bigger boat and catch even more fish. Soon you will be able to afford to buy more boats, set up your own company, your own production plant for canned food and distribution network. By then, you will have moved out of this village and to Sao Paulo, where you can set up HQ to manage your other branches.”
The fisherman continues, “And after that?”
The businessman laughs heartily, “After that, you can live like a king in your own house, and when the time is right, you can go public and float your shares in the Stock Exchange, and you will be rich.”
The fisherman asks, “And after that?”
The businessman says, “After that, you can finally retire, you can move to a house by the fishing village, wake up early in the morning, catch a few fish, then return home to play with kids, have a nice afternoon nap with your wife, and when evening comes, you can join your buddies for a drink, play the guitar, sing and dance throughout the night!”
The fisherman was puzzled, “Isn’t that what I am doing now?”
The moral of the story
This story is the PERFECT example of the whole “means to an end” mentality.
At the beginning of his story, the fisherman is content living his life exactly the way he wants to. He is already living his “end”. Maybe he isn’t what Western society would consider a “successful person”, but he gets to spend his days doing the things he enjoys and seems to make enough money to be supported.
The businessman comes in and suggests that the fisherman needs to create this gigantic business and franchise, all as a means to an end. The businessman thinks the fisherman SHOULD spend time away from his family and friends, working all the time, living in this hustle culture, compiling a massive fortune, all so that one day in the future, he can retire and THEN actually start living the life he really wants to.
Notice also, that the businessman says “I could help you become a more successful person.”
To me that is such a red flag. Usually when we are trying to be successful based on some culturally accepted standard, that is when we fall into the means to an end trap.
Means to an End in Medicine
Means to an end is essentially when you assume that some level of suffering is required to earn what you want. And maybe it’s not even what YOU want, but what society tells you that you SHOULD want. Which is even worse!
When I was working in medicine, my whole life felt like a means to an end.
I studied really hard, shadowed and did volunteer work I didn’t enjoy
SO THAT I could have an impressive resume
SO THAT I could get into a good medical school
SO THAT I could become a doctor
SO THAT I could have a noble career path where I was making good money and helping people.
I thought this was what I was supposed to do.
I thought this was just what was required.
I didn’t enjoy any of the process, but I thought it would be worth it based on the reward at the end.
I thought that going through this period of misaligned hard work and suffering would allow me to have the life I actually wanted.
I was spending my life doing things I didn’t want to do, thinking it would eventually get me to where I wanted to go.
How to start living your end, right NOW!
But what if none of that is true?
What if you could just live the life you want to right now?
What if you could just do the things you want right now?
What if the means to an end wasn’t required?
I don’t have all the answers here because this is something I am still learning about as well, but I do have some questions for you to reflect on.
- Where in your career are you buying into this “means to an end” mentality?
- Where in your career are you doing things that you DON’T want to do?
- Why are you doing those things? What do you think they are actually getting you?
- Could there be another way? A way to get those things you are after that is more joyful?
I would also love to hear your thoughts on this topic in general. How do you feel about this concept of “means to an end”?
Do you think that we have to suffer for a certain period of time to earn the life we want? Where do you think you got that idea from? And why does that HAVE to be true? Could there be another way!?
Comment below and share your reflections.
