This was such an incredible and transformational month for me. I invested in 2 courses with my mentor Nichole Sylvester: Money Miracles and The Unwavering Woman. I can’t wait to share with you what I’ve learned, how I’ve changed and who I’ve become in this process. Through these two programs, I have learned how to relate to my desires and my goals in a whole new way.
Let me explain.
Just trying to survive
Previously, I was living in this energy of having just enough to get by. I wanted to stay at the cheapest possible air bnb that wasn’t a complete shit hole. Every time I spent money I felt guilty. I thought I needed to scrimp and save whenever possible because it was irresponsible to spend money when I have so many student loans to pay off. I traveled in a carryon suitcase because it was cheaper than checking a bag.
I lived as cheaply as I could. I traveled in the most budget friendly way possible to the countries with the lowest cost of living. The whole time just crossing my finger and hoping I could make my business work. Hoping the money didn’t run out. Hoping I could make more sales each month to cover my expenses. Telling myself that once I hit six figures in my business, life could be different. I could breathe a bit more.
I was playing small by living in restriction and denying myself my desires. I was making decsisions based on scarcity, lack, limitation and guilt. What’s wild is: I didn’t even realizing that’s what I was doing, I thought I was just being “responsible”.
Agreements about debt
I had certain agreements about debt that I was subconsciously still holding onto. I had a belief that debt is bad and something to be ashamed of. I felt guilty for having it and for only making the minimum payments.
I even was unintentionally punishing myself for having student loan debt. I had this subconscious agreement that I didn’t deserve to live a rich, abundant life, because I gave that possibility up when I gave up being a doctor. I could have my time freedom and my location freedom, but there was a tradeoff involved. I had to live like a backpacker and a vagabond. I had to keep my expenses low and my head down while I hustled to make my business work.
Tuning into my desires
But this month, while taking Money Miracles, everything started to change. I started to check in with myself and ask “what do I want”.
Not what should I be doing to make money in my business. Not what can I afford to do based on my current bank account. None of those limiting questions. I started to seriously check in with myself and ask…. what do I want.
Here are some things that came up:
Glamping in Colombia
I wanted to have a glamping experience on my last night in Colombia to mark the end of my 3 months in that country. It cost $120 for the night. It didn’t make sense to do it. I already had an air bnb for the night. I didn’t need somewhere to stay and I certainly didn’t need to stay somewhere that “expensive”.
But I wanted to do it. I decided to let myself do it. I gifted it to myself. I trusted myself that my desires would be provided for.
Abundance at the hot springs
During module 4 when we checked in with our “inner rich woman”- my inner rich woman wanted to go to the hot springs resort in Papallachta. On a Wednesday. In the middle of the work week. While I “should be working”. Again, it felt irresponsible. I felt guilty for taking a full day off in the middle of the week to do nothing. But I decided to listen to my desires and do it anyways.
I stayed at a hot springs hotel for one night. I soaked in the thermal pools, resting, watching the hummingbirds and allowing myself the pleasure of doing nothing. I met a new friend and had an incredible day of connection and relaxation. The whole experience cost me $80 The next day, I had a sales call and made $3000 in cash. Deposited directly into my bank account. Maybe following my desires actually works….
A European Summer
For two years now, I’ve wanted to go to Europe for the summer. There are friends in Europe I want to reconnect with. There are hikes I want to do and places I want to see. But for the longest time, I’ve felt scared to actually do it. Europe can be more expensive than Latin America. I worried about “getting stuck” in Europe and running out of money. I worried about getting really caught up in travel and sightseeing and not doing enough work on my business.
This month, I bought my plane ticket. I am flying to Paris on May 24th and I couldn’t be more thrilled.
Feeling worthy of my desires
This month, I started to lean into my desires and trust them like never before. Instead of settling for breadcrumbs from a mindset of scarcity, I have started to use my desires as a guide. I’m asking myself questions like- how can I grow into my desires? How can I become the person who can meet those desires? Who do I need to be to receive these desires? How do I need to act, what do I need to feel?
I used to tell myself. I’m not worthy of my desires, yet. I thought I needed to earn them by getting to a certain income level in my business.
But turns out I had it all backwards. I got to a certain place in my business by honoring and feeling worthy of my desires. By rising up to meet my desires. By expanding into them. This month, while practicing this new way of being, I had my highest cash month since starting my business.
I made $9112. That’s in CASH, not sales. That is the money that came directly into my bank account this month. I can feel that I am in the energy of money. I can feel money responding to me. I can feel the universe responding to me. It’s all working.
And that’s not all….
The Unwavering Woman
I also participated in the Unwavering Woman workshop with my mentor Nichole Sylvester. It was a 4 day training series with 1 hour of live calls each day. It changed my way of relating to my goals. It changed my life.
My previous patterns of wavering
Through this workshop, I was encouraged to examine my patterns of wavering. How am I NOT fully playing all out. How do I back down the moment that something starts to go wrong? How do I shrink into hiding when something doesn’t work out exactly as planned?
I realized I have these negative thought patterns that flare up anytime I meet up against the slightest bit of resistance in my business.
- If someone says NO or “not right now” on a sales call
- If my engagement is low on IG
- If a reel “tanks”
- If I don’t get as many sign ups as I’d like for a free or paid event
These events would immediately trigger my patterns of wavering. I would get caught up in a downward spiral of negative thoughts. Thinking things like..
“I suck at sales”
“I don’t know how to build a biz”
“My biz is never going to actually take off”
“This isn’t working and it’s not going to work.”
“I don’t know what I ‘m doing”
With this fun negative thought spiral, I would shut down, or show up halfheartedly online not really expecting things to work. I wavered. I wavered allllll over the place. Like a flip flopping jelly fish.
Becoming Unwavering
As a part of the workshop, I made a decision to become unwavering. To embody the unwavering woman inside of me.
- An unwavering woman is grounded in the TRUTH of who she is and what she is called to do.
- An unwavering woman knows what she wants and goes for it unapologetically.
- An unwavering woman holds the faith in herself and her vision. She consistently guides herself away from doubt and back into faith.
- An unwavering woman is devoted to her highest self.
- An unwavering woman does NOT falter, back down or give up even when things look like they aren’t working.
And that is exactly who I am here to be.
I made a list of some of my beliefs and mantras that I recite everyday as an unwavering woman and I’ll share some of them with you.
- I am not here to fuck spiders.
- I am meant to help people through my gifts, my joy and living in a way that lights me up.
- My desires are a direct call to action from the divine. They are of the highest good for all. When I say YES to my desires I say YES to my expansion and, I am fully supported by the universe.
- I am meant to be massively compensated for sharing my gifts with the world, so I can be an example of what’s possible.
- I am here to free people from their limitations and lead them into expansion.
- Abundance is All There Is.
Speaking these truths helps anchor me into the Unwavering Woman that I am here to be. It’s powerful and profound and life changing. I invite you to create your own truths to recite every day and see how life starts to rearrange for you.
This has been a HUGE month of growth and expansion for me. I know that from now on I will look to March of 2022 as the month that everything changed.
All of the work I have been doing on myself. All the books I’ve been reading, the healing I’ve been doing, the programs I’ve been taking, the journaling I’ve been doing, the mindset work I’ve been practicing. All of it finally started to add up. Everything started to click for me this month and I feel more embodied than I even realized was possible.
I’m so proud of the person I am, the path I am on and who I am becoming.
For this coming month April, I have even more growth and expansion planned (although I guess you can’t really plan these things!) I am starting a 10 week Spiritual Life Coaching Training Program called The Miracle Worker Method. I am so excited to continue to invest in myself and seek out my highest potential. Stay tuned!
